Teething: Molar Madness

These bad boys are very much like hell. But worse.

Austin has been suffering with these mofo’s for, at a guess, 56 years. Teething majorly sucks at the best of times, he seems to struggle quite badly with it, bless him. When the teeth growing through are as sharp as teeny tiny white daggers, he needs a dose of Calpol; Calprofen; Teetha, Anbesol and a double shot of whisky*. But when they’re massive; blunt; rounded; enameled blocks that couldn’t cut their way through tissue paper, things get a WHOLE lot worse.

Who the hell thinks this shiz up, as if two year olds don’t have a hard enough time as it is. “So I was thinking we’d take a two year old and force some disproportionately large and blunt pieces of rock through his already sore gums? YEAH?! Cool, Let’s do this!!!!”

No. Let’s not.

This handy little diagram shows the order and age at which teeth appear in most babies. The order was correct for Austin the age ranges were less so. It’s good though, it gives you an idea of where to look or feel in their mouths.


Now, I think we may finally be coming to the end of Molar Madness. I can definitely see three out of four of them almost through his gums. I haven’t spotted the fourth one but he refuses to let me check. The last two times that I’ve tried poking around in his mouth, he’s bitten me. Clamped right down on my finger and not let go. OUCH.

So having safely made it through these teething times, here are my three best buys for those of you dealing with a teether yourself:

1) Anbesol is bloody brilliant. It tastes rank but works great. I actually used it myself when I had an abscess whilst pregnant and couldn’t use painkillers. It’s good stuff.

2) Nelsons Teetha Granules are also good. Little sachets of powder/granules that you rub onto their gums or even just sprinkle into the mouth. These worked really well for Austin. There’s another brand of granules called Ashton and Parsons which are apparently the best but, they didn’t help Austin in the slightest.

3) Infant Paracetamol and Ibuprofen (Calpol and Calprofen are the most famous branded names but supermarket own are the same thing and half the price. #thrifty). Stock up on these! When used together (alternating through a bad night works best) they help ALOT.

An additional tip for you: Alcohol. Drink responsibly though, enough to numb your pain but not enough to sleep through the screams!

Thankfully, not all babies suffer badly with teething. I’ve heard mothers say “she just woke up one morning and had two new teeth!” however, I haven’t witnessed this kind of thing myself. Molar Madness does seem to be bad for every poor toddler out there though so it would appear there is no escape! If you have found something that works better than the above, PLEEEEAAAAASE comment below! Elodie and I would both like to know what it is…

* Obviously I don’t really give him whisky. He’s more of a rum man.


2 thoughts on “Teething: Molar Madness

  1. gemma says:

    Love this post! Evie suffers also. We live by Calpol and Nelsons granules. I’m dreading the last 4 molars 😦 hope your little one is ok x

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