Teething: Molar Madness

These bad boys are very much like hell. But worse.

Austin has been suffering with these mofo’s for, at a guess, 56 years. Teething majorly sucks at the best of times, he seems to struggle quite badly with it, bless him. When the teeth growing through are as sharp as teeny tiny white daggers, he needs a dose of Calpol; Calprofen; Teetha, Anbesol and a double shot of whisky*. But when they’re massive; blunt; rounded; enameled blocks that couldn’t cut their way through tissue paper, things get a WHOLE lot worse.

Who the hell thinks this shiz up, as if two year olds don’t have a hard enough time as it is. “So I was thinking we’d take a two year old and force some disproportionately large and blunt pieces of rock through his already sore gums? YEAH?! Cool, Let’s do this!!!!”

No. Let’s not.

This handy little diagram shows the order and age at which teeth appear in most babies. The order was correct for Austin the age ranges were less so. It’s good though, it gives you an idea of where to look or feel in their mouths.

teething

Now, I think we may finally be coming to the end of Molar Madness. I can definitely see three out of four of them almost through his gums. I haven’t spotted the fourth one but he refuses to let me check. The last two times that I’ve tried poking around in his mouth, he’s bitten me. Clamped right down on my finger and not let go. OUCH.

So having safely made it through these teething times, here are my three best buys for those of you dealing with a teether yourself:

1) Anbesol is bloody brilliant. It tastes rank but works great. I actually used it myself when I had an abscess whilst pregnant and couldn’t use painkillers. It’s good stuff.

2) Nelsons Teetha Granules are also good. Little sachets of powder/granules that you rub onto their gums or even just sprinkle into the mouth. These worked really well for Austin. There’s another brand of granules called Ashton and Parsons which are apparently the best but, they didn’t help Austin in the slightest.

3) Infant Paracetamol and Ibuprofen (Calpol and Calprofen are the most famous branded names but supermarket own are the same thing and half the price. #thrifty). Stock up on these! When used together (alternating through a bad night works best) they help ALOT.

An additional tip for you: Alcohol. Drink responsibly though, enough to numb your pain but not enough to sleep through the screams!

Thankfully, not all babies suffer badly with teething. I’ve heard mothers say “she just woke up one morning and had two new teeth!” however, I haven’t witnessed this kind of thing myself. Molar Madness does seem to be bad for every poor toddler out there though so it would appear there is no escape! If you have found something that works better than the above, PLEEEEAAAAASE comment below! Elodie and I would both like to know what it is…

* Obviously I don’t really give him whisky. He’s more of a rum man.

 

The British Tag

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I do love a good tag and this one is the best by far! I saw it on my new fave Little Miss Katy‘s blog and thought I would nick it join in! It originated from the very lovely Beautycrush who started it on her vlog.

So, let’s go! Tally-ho! (already, could I be more British?!)

1. How many cups of tea do you have a day and how many sugars?
I drink a shocking amount of green tea. I basically live on it. Normal English Breakfast tea, I drink with one sugar but I don’t have it very often, usually only when I’m out at a friends house. I’m also partial to a Peppermint tea.

2. Favourite part of your roast?
Roast spuds. Or massive Yorkshires:

yorkshire

Or Pigs-in-blankets. I like roasts.

3. Favourite dunking biscuit?
I don’t do dunking. It ruins tea and it ruins biscuits.
My favourite biscuit however, is a chocolate bourbon (sorry Beautycrush!). I could EASILY eat a whole (family size) pack in one go. In fact, I have. Don’t judge me.

bourbonjpg

4. Favourite quintessentially British pastime?
Watching Wimbledon whilst eating strawberries & cream and drinking Pimms. #winning

5. Favourite word?
Impossible to limit this to one word! Jerk is quite high up the list, as is Subliminal. And Jive. I do not like Lush.

6. Cockney rhyming slang?
Oh I know a few: Godiva (£5); Butchers (Look); Apples and Pears (Stairs); Dog and Bone (Phone); Cream Crackered (Knackered); Bricks and Mortar (Daughter)…I’m all out.

7. Favourite sweet?
Again, I can’t limit myself. Life is too short for favourites. Especially when you have a tooth as sweet as mine. I love Jelly Tots; the pink and blue bobbly ones from Liquorice Allsorts and Star bars!

starbar

8. What would your pub be called?
Um something with our surname, Knight… A Knight Inn/Knights Inn? Is that too jerky?! I just Googled it and turns out it’s not very original. Good job I don’t name pubs for a living. That would be a cool job though. If I was better at it.

9. No.1 British person?
James Bond. Or Phillip Schofield. Or Kevin McCloud. Oh or the voice over man from Come Dine with Me. All men! Interesting.

10. Favourite shop/restaurant?
Hands down this has to be John Lewis! Their Christmas adverts alone win it for me. Apart from the snowman one from  few years ago, that didn’t really do it for me. Last years The Bear and The Hare was pretty tear-jerking.

11. What British song pops into your head?
Aside from the Lily Allen song in that John Lewis advert, the next British song is…Parklife by Blur? Bit random but I like it. Then Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen.

12. Marmite?
Love love LOVE it!

I tag anyone and everyone, British or not!

12 things I have done as a parent…

Becoming a mum is life changing. There’s no doubt about it. To have little people in your life who love you unconditionally is just the best feeling in the world. This is why, as a mother, I would do anything for my children. I always knew I would, even before they’d set up camp in my belly, it’s obvious isn’t it? As a mother, I would go to any length to look after my children. What I didn’t realise, were some of the things I would have to do. I think I lived in a pregnancy bubble. Sure, I knew I’d have to deal with poo; sick; crying and sleepless nights. But I don’t think I really thought much past that. And thinking of some of the things I have done as a parent that I would NEVER have done before, this is probably for the best! I have…

1) Wiped poo/wee/sick off my clothing with a baby wipe, considered it clean and worn it out in public. (If you do do this, wait for it to dry and check in daylight before venturing out. Unless you’re going somewhere dark in which case, don’t waste a baby wipe!).

2) Sniffed a bum to see if it had pooed. (It had).

3) Put my finger in poo whilst checking the contents of a nappy. (Previous sniff test was inconclusive). And got poo under my finger nail.

4) Googled the colour; texture and volume of poo. (Discovering some very disturbing images in the process!)

5) Sucked a dummy to clean it. After it had been in my baby’s mouth and then fallen on the floor.

6) Caught someone else’s unwanted, half eaten food in my hand.

7) Caught someone else’s sick in my hand. And had it dribble through my fingers and get stuck in my wedding rings (Thankfully not whilst my fingers were still too chubby from pregnancy to get my rings off to clean them!).

8) Picked someone else’s bogeys out their nose with my little finger nail.

9) Wiped someone else’s very snotty nose. With my bare fingers and wiped it on my jeans. Then forgotten I’d done so and not used a baby wipe to clean it off before I went out, thus looking like I have something much worse than snot on my trousers.

10) Pinned someone to the floor, whilst they screamed the house down, to brush their teeth.

11) Shared my bed with someone who continuously kicks me in the head and farts in my face.

12) Let someone watch me wee whilst they stare blankly (not at my face), pointing (not at my face!).

Being a mum is gross but, being a mum is great! There must be other weird/disgusting things us parents do that we never would have done before, let me know if you’ve done worse. I promise not to judge you. Much.