When I was pregnant the second time round, I couldn’t understand how I would love a second child as much as my first. Before having children, you have no idea how much love you will have for them. Then, if you are lucky enough to become a mother, instantly you change. You would put your own life on the line without a second thought, if it meant they would be safe. How can you possible have any more love to give?!
It happens! You have as much love for your second child as your first. It just happens. Like some kind of amazing Mother Nature magical shiz.
When I tell people I have a newborn and a 1 1/2 year old, so many say “wow, you’re brave!” Or “you must have your work cut out!” My favourite is “oh no poor you having two in nappies!” Yes poor me having two healthy, beautiful children in nappies! Nobody’s favourite past-time is changing two sets of nappies but if that’s the worst thing in my life, I think I will cope just fine!
To any other mums reading this who come under the “two under two” bracket, a few little nuggets of advise for you:
- You need to be extra extra organised.
- You must to be able to multitask like never before.
- Those eyes you have in the back of your head? You need a couple more on each side, around your ears will do.
- You will definitely need to stop your toddler kicking your newborn. Over and over again.
- And sometimes, you have to let one cry, while you tend to the other. *heart breaks* If the toddler has his wet hand inches from a live socket, or he has climbed into the tumble drier and is currently closing the door (neither of these have actually happened! Yet.) whilst the baby is screaming because she’s accidentally pulled her own dummy out (this has happened. Many many times.)…Toddler 1: Baby o.
So far, 11 weeks in to a lifetime of having two children, it’s been fiiiiiiine. Honest.
I found it hard at first, when I was in hospital after having Elodie, I was showered, changed and desperate to go home an hour after she had been born. I was however, kept in for the rest of that day so my time was spent sat staring at my beautiful tiny newborn and then having a pang of guilt that I wasn’t sat staring at my beautiful toddler (hard to do unless said toddler is sleeping, but still!).
The first day at home, when Austin met his little sis was quite hard too. Mainly because I was so conscious of making sure he knew he was still as loved and adored as ever. There were tears from him and tears from me. Over his milk of all things! Not spilt though – there’s no point crying over that. But the tears didn’t last long. Then, the first few weeks passed in a blur of visitors, as is usually the case, and before we had realised it, we had settled into being a family of 4 and it wasn’t as difficult anymore. I’ll write more about Austin’s relationship with Elodie next week…
Physically, this postnatal recovery has been easier. Less pain for a start. And actually, I have had to recover more quickly because I haven’t wanted Austin to notice a difference in his Mummy, I’ve wanted to get back to my old self (pre big pregnancy belly!) rolling around on the floor and messing around with him. My baby weight and mummy tummy are another story. And in fact, I will write about these soon too. For now, let’s just say I am still wearing my maternity jeans and I can’t see that changing anytime soon! Damn my pear shape and thighs!
Emotionally, this time has also been much easier. And not because Elodie is an easier baby – she’s not (she was at first – lulling me into a false sense of calm baby security!). While Austin had colic and suffered with aches and pains from his forceps birth, Elodie has reflux! And let me tell you, reflux sucks. No, this time it’s easier because I’ve been here before! This time, I know that the crying, the fussy feeding and the sleepless nights although at the time, they feel like they last for all of eternity, they won’t be forever. I know that whenever I have a hard day, tomorrow is a fresh start. Tomorrow will be better. And most importantly, I know that I am a good mum. Even on those hard days when we have excessive crying; no sleep; wind that won’t come up; milk that won’t stay down and now even toddler tantrums thrown into the mix, I am a good mum, trying my best, loving my children more than anything else. Sometimes us Mums forget this. Our babies don’t forget it, not until around the time they hit puberty at least! To our babies, we are their mums, their world, their everything. This time round, I know this and I will my best try not to forget it!
Next week on the Postnatal series…Big Brother, Little Sister…