5 things NOT to say to a pregnant lady….

So far during this pregnancy I have encountered people who appear to have lost the ability to filter acceptable things to say to me about my pregnancy. I had the exact same problem when pregnant last time too so surely I can’t be alone in this?!

It is for this reason I have come up with a list of 5 things NOT to say to a Mummy-to-be, for your own good, please read and take note. These are all things that were said to me at some point during my pregnancies…

1) “Are you pregnant?” If you don’t know for sure, don’t ask. It is likely that you:

a) are trying to get her to tell you before she is ready.

b) think she has a belly, which is just plain rude. If this is the case, don’t then back up your question with “I noticed your tummy!” as some kind of justification.

Asking this question is always a big NO. Mainly because there’s a chance the answer is going to be “No”! This question has come at me from other Mums who will have gone through the same initial 12 week stage when you don’t really want anybody to know…

2) Upon announcing her pregnancy to you and you feel the age gap between her children is unacceptable, you tell her so. For example “It’s very soon!

Chances are, when she announces “I am pregnant!” to you, this is not code for “do you think I should have another baby or is it too soon/too late?”!!  If you are not the babies father, perhaps consider keeping your opinion to yourself, unless asked.

Deciding when to have children is not normally a decision taken lightly and when it’s a second or third child, there will already be a worry of how the new baby will affect the existing children. Be supportive. And at least say “Congratulations!”! Note in this case with me, the person in question did not say congratulations..!

3) After asking when she’s due, say “Oh that’s AGES away!

She will know exactly how pregnant she is and therefore, exactly how long she has left until her due date. She will be counting down the days! Highlighting how far away it is, will not make it any easier for her.

4) “You should eat this/drink this/do this to help with your morning sickness

Truth is, everyone is different! It’s great that eating a dry cracker first thing in the morning meant you never had any morning sickness but don’t ram it down her throat (literally or not). If she asks your advice, go ahead, until then, she’s probably heard it all before and might not want to hear it again. I had a taxi driver on the way to the airport early in the morning telling me that I should drink cold coffee, apparently it was the only thing that worked in stopping her morning sickness. I didn’t try it…

5) I saved my fave until last… Never at any time during the pregnancy say “Wow, look at the size of you!” or “OMG you’re HUUUUGE!

I hate this. It is never acceptable to say this to a non-pregnant person, so nobody should think it acceptable to say to someone who is created a beautiful brand new life in her tummy. Babies need room to grow Goddamit and they need their mummies to be happy and stress free, not worrying about how much weight they’ve put on or whether or not you think they’re HUUUUUGE.

 If you do say something along these lines, you automatically lose the right to be offended at anything she says in retaliation.

A couple of other useful pointers to help you escape with your life:

1) NEVER touch her baby filled tummy (especially before she even has a baby bump!), unless invited to do so. Uninvited touching is not appropriate for non-pregnant bellies and pregnant tummies are no different.

2) After the baby is born, make NO mention of her post-pregnancy bump. Yes she’ll have one, no she won’t want it pointing out. She will probably already be feeling emotional, tired, fat, uncomforable, frumpy and hormonal so don’t go adding to her woes. Just  tell her how beautiful her baby is and ignore what she looks like.

Remember, us pregnant ladies have all kind of things going on in our minds and bodies, making babies is a bloomin’ tough business, please say only nice things to us. and if you do say something mean, don’t be surprised if you receive a chinese burn or a kick to the shins.


17 week update…

Sooooo 17 weeks already…it’s flying by! My symptoms have been pretty much the same as when I was pregnant with Austin, I’ve been much more tired (probably because I already have a little fella to look after), feeling slightly less sick (bonus!) but much more emotional – it doesn’t take much to make me blub! I feel much more relaxed about everything this time, I don’t wory about my aches and pains (incidentally I’ve been having much more this time round – apparently this is common the 2nd time round as your body knows what to do and so does it quicker, sometimes causing more stretching pains!) obviously not because I care any less but, because I don’t have time to think about things because I have Austin to think about instead! Last time, my pregnancy was everything, this time it’s sharing the limelight with Austin!

Anyway, after being inspired by other pregnancy blogs (have a look at Bump, Baby C and Me!), I am going to let you in on my secret stats. I won’t be able to do a weekly pregnancy post but I will update whenever I can! So, here goes…

Photo: I took this photo this morning (17+1), after breakfast but before I’d eaten anything else. By tonight, after dinner, bump will be twice the size. I am NOT joking.

17+1, in the morning before my normal daily food consumption!

17+1, in the morning before my normal daily food consumption!

Total weight gain: with Austin, I gained *whispers* 42lbs. This is, in my eyes, ridiculous. I am little, I’m 5ft 3in so this amount of poundage is beyond belief. I blame bread. So far my weight gain this time is 11lbs. I’m basically on track for the same as last time. Eeek! My bump looks and feels much bigger this time, especially by the evening!

Stretch marks: Last time, I didn’t get any. This time, I fear I won’t be so lucky! I just don’t get the chance to slather lotions and potions on my bump like I did last time. I’m using Johnsons Skin Perfecting Oil (I work for Johnson and Johnson which is the main reason I tried this in the first place, but as it worked well last time, I figured I’ll so the same this time too) and Palmer’s Cocoa Butter. I love both products, although I have to use the unscented Cocoa Butter!

Symptoms: headaches, especially during the first trimester, restless legs ALL THE TIME! I’ve heard this can be due to lack of iron or magnesium in m diet. So this week I started using Magnesium Flakes in the bath, and the past few nights I’ve slept much better. I still get restless legs during the day but at least it hasn’t been keeping me awake!

Cravings: None really. I’m craving red meat, although it has tailed off a bit recently. I can only drink water, Earl Grey tea and fruit tea..! I was the same with Austin so this must be how my body copes with pregnancy!

Best pregnancy related moment: As I haven’t posted for weeks, there have been lots! But the best moment so far was feeling baby moving this week! So cute and comforting!

Worst pregnancy related moment: Headaches when you can’t take anything to ease the pain…

Belly Button: Last time it ended up half in and half out – gross. I have a belly button phobia so fingers crossed it stays in this time.

Wedding rings: This is so important to me! Last pregnancy, my rings came off of my sausage fingers at about 30 weeks. It didn’t help that it was over the summer time and they were a little on the snug side anyway! So far, they’re still on. But it’s early days…

Ability to paint toenails: In my world, this is also very important and I managed to do this right the way through my pregnancy with Austin – despite having the biggest bump in the world! Here’s hoping for the same this time too.

Predictions: Sooooo… I typed this last week, before we had a private gender scan…”Last time, as soon as we found out I was expecting, I was adamant that I was having a boy. This time, I’m not so sure at all but at the moment I’m thinking it could be a girl. Hubby has said a boy of 9lb 6oz and I’m going for girl of 8lb 13oz. We find out the gender next month so we’ll see who’s right…” Now, since then, we had the scan and were told what we were having! However, we’re going to wait until the 20 week NHS scan to be sure as baby had it’s hands and feet all over the place so it was quite hard to tell! Watch this space…